peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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