A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
is it fun? or sober?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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