You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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