Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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