Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
