Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
