Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I deserve this hangover.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
