Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
