I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
