i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize