My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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