Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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