and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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