We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
