If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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