Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
