she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
