you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
And then he peed in my hair
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