i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
