So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
