you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
