you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
