I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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