U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
