I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize