I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
