Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
