Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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