did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
