Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
