apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
