How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
