Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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