return my video game
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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