Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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