thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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