im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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