We won't sleep together?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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