using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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