WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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