Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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