Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Come share oat with me in your robe
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
