just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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