this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
