i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So many bounce houses so little time
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
