i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
