soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This is my gift to your gina
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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