This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
