I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
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