I CAN MOONWALK!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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