nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
