Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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