made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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