just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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