I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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